Rule #1: Never Share Your Favourite Song Too Soon

A beginner mistake. To all the sappy, saccharine people out there – the worst possible blunder you could make is offer your favourite song to someone you don’t trust fully. It’s like handing a fragile vase to a toddler and expecting it to remain intact.

A favourite song is seldom just a song. It’s a timestamp. A confession. A little sliver of your memories, a carefully preserved fossil of who you were when you first heard it.

And then, in a moment of alarming optimism, you send it to someone, hoping that they’ll match your enthusiasm. Sometimes they do; sometimes they don’t. More often than not, when you share your favourite song with someone you’re not close to… you’re bound to get disappointed.

Rule #2: Steal Like a Thief with Taste

One of the greatest privileges of loving someone… is keeping little pieces of them through music.

My favourite songs are a collection of:

• hopeful suggestions from my family
• passionate recommendations from strangers I become alarmingly acquainted with over poetry and/or debate
• tracks shoved into my hands with an accompanying soliloquy longer than the song itself
• the occasional “this reminded me of you” that left a permanent mark on me

Music is one of the things you can steal without leaving someone poorer – so take advantage of it. Songs are evidence of how people have lived, their hopes, aspirations, and fears tucked into the lyrics.

Moral of the story: steal shamelessly 😉

Rule #3: If Someone Says “trust me”… Listen to the Whole Song

I’ve learnt through experience that the words “trust me” mean that you must listen to the whole song before coming to a judgement. You may not like it – but it’s imperative to listen to the person and give the song a shot.

Far too many times, my mind has gotten stuck on how crappy one part of the song is. And then, as I keep trudging on through sheer willpower, I begin to realise… wait. This isn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.

Rule #4: If You Must Lie, Lie with Passion

We’ve all been there.

“Oh, our music tastes match so much! Have you heard artist XYZ? They’re my favourite,” says the person you desperately want to impress.

Before you can argue, before your mind can form a coherent response, your answer comes tumbling out: “Of course! I love them too!”

And suddenly, you’re sitting at home Googling all the members of Pink Floyd (which, by the way, is how I first began listening to them).

So here’s the deal – if you need to lie to someone about your music taste being more refined than it actually is… do your background research. Find a niche fact or two and use it to start a conversation. Trust me, it really works!

Rule #5: Let People Ruin Songs

Perhaps the most difficult of them all.

You must accept that music does not stay untouched by memory. When you spend enough time with a person, songs begin attaching themselves to them. Soon, you’ll either smile or frown when you listen to a piece because it reminds you of someone.

And when you drift apart from people, you must let them leave fingerprints all over your playlists. Yes, you might shed a tear the next time you listen to their song.

It’s a bit like lending a book to someone – when you get it back, the corners will inevitably be folded, or the spine will be cracked, or a page might be crinkled with the memory of a shed tear.

Don’t fight it, because music is meant to collect memories.

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Love fiercely. Live fearlessly. Sing along to that Spice Girls CD passionately. And share your playlists… very wisely.

Yours truly,
Divi